Do people tell you your teeth are purple? Yes No

Do you swirl all of your beverages? Yes No

Have you ever popped a cork with a knife? Yes No

Do you talk about the bouquet of box wine? Yes No

Do you think: if one glass is good for me then four must make me immortal? Yes No

Ever put a little Franzia in your orange juice? Yes No

Did you see Sideways, and tell everyone you'd never drink merlot again? Yes No

Do your Sunday services include worshipping the porcelain Harley, then drinking of the blood of Christ? Yes No

Does everyone think you're bilingual? Yes No

Is you're DNA shaped like a corkscrew? Yes No

Do you have a wine collection of EMPTY wine bottles? Yes No

Are bubbles for blowing or drinking? blowing drinking

Have you ever wished they made longer straws for direct insertion into the bottle? Yes No

Do you know what wine goes with strawberry pancakes? Yes No